(Gets a little vivid about bodily functions towards the end, you've been warned.)
With my running not as good as it was earlier in the year, I've been trying a few things lately to put a spring back in my step. I bought my barefoot runners, started doing new roots and I've started two different juices. One I've used before. It's a cherry concentrate drink I've used before. Full of antioxidants and nitrates and voodoo. Supposed to be good after a workout. Who knows? I just want something to drink after a run, it's more fun when it's cherry flavoured.
The other stuff I'm slugging, as you've probably read above, is beetroot juice. Not concentrated, just pure juice. A paragraph in a running magazine told me that folk who drank it for a week before a run did 10% better than folk who didn't. And paragraphs never lie. Look at that one up there, it's all the stone cold truth.
Beetroot juice, in case you didn't know or can't imagine it, is FOUL. It's purple salty pirate sweat. Putting 140ml of it down my throat every day for the last week has made it the longest week of my life.
Also the back of the bottle has a warning. It warns that it may discolour your pee. May discolour your pee. There's no 'may' in the matter, I've been pissing flourescent pink for five days now. And that's not the only thing...
Anyway, I set out this evening for a cheeky wee saunter about Edinburgh. Didn't make it easy on myself, the first ten minutes was all uphill. I laid into it, beetroot juice coarsing through my veins. At the top of the hill I did a lap of Charlotte Square, came back along Dean's Bridge, and ran down past the Western General. Was doing pretty well, to be honest, had an easy 4km under my belt in just over 20 minutes. Had seven in my mind, but just before the six mark I got a sharp pain in my shin and stopped. Not a major issue, it sorted itself out after a bit of walking. Still an improvement over my last few runs. Also, I was still a fair distance from home, so I'd be able to cool down a little, maybe do a few sprints.
ANYWAY, I should also mention that I spit when I run. I hate spitting generally, but I get a lot of phlegm in my mouth when I run, so I need to clear it out. Wherever possible, I spit out onto the street, into a drain or maybe a hedge. I do not EVER spit when I'm not running. It's horrible. People who do disgust me. At least burst into a sprint before you spit, I'll let you off then.
Right, this is going somewhere, trust me. So I was finishing up on my run, about five minutes out and I needed a spit. I really need one. My mouth had, eh, filled with phlegm. I hocked up a bit more to make this worth my while and, as I took a corner, I let loose.
PHLEUGH.
On front of three people I spat the biggest* gob of beetroot juice coloured phlegm I've ever seen. On front of three people, I essentially coughed up blood and ran on like a madman.
If you're having trouble imagining this, here you go:
So when you hear about the zombie outbreak in Edinburgh, you know what really happened.
*and only
With my running not as good as it was earlier in the year, I've been trying a few things lately to put a spring back in my step. I bought my barefoot runners, started doing new roots and I've started two different juices. One I've used before. It's a cherry concentrate drink I've used before. Full of antioxidants and nitrates and voodoo. Supposed to be good after a workout. Who knows? I just want something to drink after a run, it's more fun when it's cherry flavoured.
The other stuff I'm slugging, as you've probably read above, is beetroot juice. Not concentrated, just pure juice. A paragraph in a running magazine told me that folk who drank it for a week before a run did 10% better than folk who didn't. And paragraphs never lie. Look at that one up there, it's all the stone cold truth.
Beetroot juice, in case you didn't know or can't imagine it, is FOUL. It's purple salty pirate sweat. Putting 140ml of it down my throat every day for the last week has made it the longest week of my life.
Also the back of the bottle has a warning. It warns that it may discolour your pee. May discolour your pee. There's no 'may' in the matter, I've been pissing flourescent pink for five days now. And that's not the only thing...
Anyway, I set out this evening for a cheeky wee saunter about Edinburgh. Didn't make it easy on myself, the first ten minutes was all uphill. I laid into it, beetroot juice coarsing through my veins. At the top of the hill I did a lap of Charlotte Square, came back along Dean's Bridge, and ran down past the Western General. Was doing pretty well, to be honest, had an easy 4km under my belt in just over 20 minutes. Had seven in my mind, but just before the six mark I got a sharp pain in my shin and stopped. Not a major issue, it sorted itself out after a bit of walking. Still an improvement over my last few runs. Also, I was still a fair distance from home, so I'd be able to cool down a little, maybe do a few sprints.
ANYWAY, I should also mention that I spit when I run. I hate spitting generally, but I get a lot of phlegm in my mouth when I run, so I need to clear it out. Wherever possible, I spit out onto the street, into a drain or maybe a hedge. I do not EVER spit when I'm not running. It's horrible. People who do disgust me. At least burst into a sprint before you spit, I'll let you off then.
Right, this is going somewhere, trust me. So I was finishing up on my run, about five minutes out and I needed a spit. I really need one. My mouth had, eh, filled with phlegm. I hocked up a bit more to make this worth my while and, as I took a corner, I let loose.
PHLEUGH.
On front of three people I spat the biggest* gob of beetroot juice coloured phlegm I've ever seen. On front of three people, I essentially coughed up blood and ran on like a madman.
If you're having trouble imagining this, here you go:
*and only
No comments:
Post a Comment