Okay, so here's something I'd like to do sometime.
I'd start by monitoring Edinburgh Zoo's website for news. I'd be looking for a very specific topic: A pregnant giraffe. I could be waiting years. Doesn't matter. I'd potter away at my current job, waiting for the news to come. Those giraffes have to get pregnant sometime. When Maisie (you try come up with a good giraffe name) the giraffe gets pregnant I go into action. I apply for job in the Zoo. Don't ask for much money, spend the whole interview talking about how I love animals and how I know Bill Oddie.
They'll hire me. They'll have to hire me. Can't risk annoy Bill Oddie.
I'd work for a year or so, giraffe gestation is about fifteen months. I'd rise up the ranks, get more and more responsibility and access throughout the zoo.
Then, when Maisie goes into labor, I'd run into the shed among all the vets, point at her and shout:
"SHE MUST BE HAVING A GIRAFFE!"
My work done, the vets of Edinburgh Zoo's sides split with laughter at my thoroughly witty joke, I'd leave and go back to optics.
I didn't say it was a good idea.
I'd start by monitoring Edinburgh Zoo's website for news. I'd be looking for a very specific topic: A pregnant giraffe. I could be waiting years. Doesn't matter. I'd potter away at my current job, waiting for the news to come. Those giraffes have to get pregnant sometime. When Maisie (you try come up with a good giraffe name) the giraffe gets pregnant I go into action. I apply for job in the Zoo. Don't ask for much money, spend the whole interview talking about how I love animals and how I know Bill Oddie.
They'll hire me. They'll have to hire me. Can't risk annoy Bill Oddie.
I'd work for a year or so, giraffe gestation is about fifteen months. I'd rise up the ranks, get more and more responsibility and access throughout the zoo.
Then, when Maisie goes into labor, I'd run into the shed among all the vets, point at her and shout:
"SHE MUST BE HAVING A GIRAFFE!"
My work done, the vets of Edinburgh Zoo's sides split with laughter at my thoroughly witty joke, I'd leave and go back to optics.
I didn't say it was a good idea.
a plan if I've ever read one !!
ReplyDeleteAye, though I just found out Edinburgh Zoo hasn't had a giraffe since 2004. 'sake.
ReplyDeletetheres other opportunities here noel. above plan could be altered... you could hide one of the elephants and see if it remembers the way back, or teach the monkeys how to economise on their peanut stocks by selling them off to the other animals
ReplyDelete