Saturday, September 1, 2012

Red, red, yellow, yellow, green.

People, at times, accuse me of not "keeping it real". They come up to me and say things like
"Hey up, Daddeo, you're not where it's at anymore. You used to be where it's at, but you rolled down the hill and can't see 'it' anymore. Now can you fix a screw in my bifocals?"
I usually have good comebacks for these people. I tell them how I listen to "pop" music, how most of the people I listen to aren't dead yet. I tell them how the majority of films I've seen in the past year have been in 3D and how the wax I did my hair with this morning has the word "XTreme" in its name.
They swiftly back down. They realise that I'm not only where it's at, they realise that "it", by default, is wherever the fuck I happen to be at a given time.
But, today, I did something I'm a little ashamed of. Something uncool. Something unforgivable for a twenty something year old.
I bought a pizza. I bought a pizza in Sainsburys and instead of choosing the pizza by flavour or topping, as most would, instead of choosing it by price, as many would, I chose it by the wee colour coded wheel telling me just how bad the pizza is for me.

"Red, red, red, red, yellow? Not today.
Red, red, red, yellow, green? Not you either, sunshine.
Red, red, yellow, yellow, green? You're practically good for me. Get in my basket."

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