So there I was, out running near Ocean Terminal earlier this evening. The sun was at my back, the wind nudging me alone the footpath and a long shadow stretched out on for metres ahead of me. As I rounded a bit of a hill, something else appeared in my vision.
A pair of legs the likes of which I've never seen before. Tanned, smooth and seemingly neverending. A mini skirt that was barely there. An ass that swung like... a swing? A jacket. It was an alright jacket, I suppose. She also had hair. It was dark and looked she was just out of the shower.
It might've been heatstroke, but I was smitten. Last week's girl on the bus was cast out of my mind (Same with her boyfriend Julio she was talking to on the phone. JULIO.) Chest out, arms pumping like I was some kind of Navy Seal, I ran past her without diverting my eyes from what was on front of me. I had to give her the idea that I was some kind of fitness machine and that I might be hiding some kind of sixpack (she didn't have to know it's in my fridge). So on I went for the obligatory six, maybe seven seconds, wondering what beauty lay behind me. When the time felt right, I turned around and BAM, face full of blinding sunlight. My pupils scrambling to close over, I turned back around to look at a big purple circle in the middle of my vision and just about veered around a wheelie bin and clipped a phone box. I gave up on seeing the front of this girl, the girl of my dreams and continued on home.
I learned something tonight.
Ladies, it's not right that us men objectify you so. It's nice of you to go to effort at times to look well for us, we do appreciate it but it's important that we keep in mind that you aren't just eye candy, you aren't just a nice set of breasts and a wiggly arse. It's important that we remember that you're so much more. You're doctors, scientists, teachers and mothers. And I'll try keep that in mind next time I'm out running.
Men, take fucking sunglasses out anytime ye go for a jog. I nearly walloped me bollox off a bollard with that fuckup.
A pair of legs the likes of which I've never seen before. Tanned, smooth and seemingly neverending. A mini skirt that was barely there. An ass that swung like... a swing? A jacket. It was an alright jacket, I suppose. She also had hair. It was dark and looked she was just out of the shower.
It might've been heatstroke, but I was smitten. Last week's girl on the bus was cast out of my mind (Same with her boyfriend Julio she was talking to on the phone. JULIO.) Chest out, arms pumping like I was some kind of Navy Seal, I ran past her without diverting my eyes from what was on front of me. I had to give her the idea that I was some kind of fitness machine and that I might be hiding some kind of sixpack (she didn't have to know it's in my fridge). So on I went for the obligatory six, maybe seven seconds, wondering what beauty lay behind me. When the time felt right, I turned around and BAM, face full of blinding sunlight. My pupils scrambling to close over, I turned back around to look at a big purple circle in the middle of my vision and just about veered around a wheelie bin and clipped a phone box. I gave up on seeing the front of this girl, the girl of my dreams and continued on home.
I learned something tonight.
Ladies, it's not right that us men objectify you so. It's nice of you to go to effort at times to look well for us, we do appreciate it but it's important that we keep in mind that you aren't just eye candy, you aren't just a nice set of breasts and a wiggly arse. It's important that we remember that you're so much more. You're doctors, scientists, teachers and mothers. And I'll try keep that in mind next time I'm out running.
Men, take fucking sunglasses out anytime ye go for a jog. I nearly walloped me bollox off a bollard with that fuckup.
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